Guest report from Vestal - Zach Tartell

Hey all! My teammate Zach Tartell (of internet obscurity) has been gracious enough to put his report up on the site with us. Here's his take on the tournament! Thanks Zach!

List:

3 Cephalid Coliseum
4 City of Brass 

3 Gemstone Mine 

1 Undiscovered Paradise (I'm not sold on this) 

4 Ichorid 

4 Narcomoeba 

4 Bridge from Below 

4 Cabal Therapy 

2 Dread Return 

2 Deep Analysis 

4 Lion's Eye Diamond 

1 Flame-Kin Zealot 

1 Eternal Witness 

4 Golgari Grave Troll 

4 Stinkweed Imp 

3 Golgari Thug 

4 Breakthrough 

4 Putrid Imp 

4 Unmask 

Sideboard: 

4 Firestorm 

4 Pithing Needle 

4 Chain of Vapor 

2 Wispmare 

1 Ancestor's Chosen (MVP) 

Thoughts on the list: 

If I knew a better place to put the Unmasks I'd drop them in a heartbeat for the 4th Coliseum, the 3rd Deep Analysis, and 2 Careful Study. I love Careful Study like nobody's business. Daemon says it's terrible, and I'm inclined to agree with him, as Unmasks can hit your opponent as well, but I love drawing me some cards, and it helps dig for boarded cards, and everything else. Except that the the board is fairly fixed. I'd consider losing the Wispmares (as I didn't like them even against Plague) and maybe a Firestorm for them. But then I'd need to find a place for the fourth, or whatever. Ancestor's Chosen is AMAZING. Don't ever not play it. I wish I could find a place for it main deck (and, I wish I could find a place for a third DR and a cool maindeck target (like the persist non-creature Vindicate guy)). It saved me two times, and was amazing. A 3rd DR might be worth discussing, 'cause using Witness twice or three times is great. That's probably the card I'd put first into the main deck (over Careful Study even). But, onto the report: 

Round 1: Dave Trimberi, Mono-R Burn 

Game 1: Dave wins the die roll, drops a mountain and then Lava Spikes me. I put 50 cards into my graveyard with a LED, Breakthrough, Troll, Troll hand (into a Deep Analysis). I win after a suspended Rift Bolt. 

Game 2: My life totals go as follows: 20, 17, 14, 12, 62, 59. My notes suggest that nine Zombie tokens and a certain 4/4 First Striker turned sideways on turn 4 for a win. 

1-0-0 

Round 2: Robe Pierre-Olivier, Naya Zoo 

Game 1: I win the die roll, lay a turn 1 Putrid Imp. Robe drops some sort of turn one threat (as my life drops by two instead of three), probably a Kird Ape or a Figure. I get in for one twice, and then two, and then, after some tricky combat math, Robe burns my face off. 

Game 2: My life totals (every time I use Ancestor's Chosen I'm probably gonna make you read my life totals for hilarity's sake) are: 20, 17, 14, 11, 8, 5, 20 (fifteen cards in yard), 17, 15, 36 (a clever Therapy followed by one of those great "without passing priority, DR targeting AC" tricks), 31, 24 (Goyfs must have come into the mix), 23, 21, 16. Robe's go a little quicker: 20, 18, 2. 

Game 3: This game includes a turn-three Ancestor's Chosen for 39 life and 9 zombies. 

2-0-0 

Round 3 vs. Mike Farrell's RG Goyf Sligh 

These games go quickly, and Mike's notes explain it fairly well. He open hands a Fanatic (I must have been sloppy while shuffling, 'cause he mulled to it) that makes my bridges suck. Both games. The first game just includes me dying to burn while the second makes me think I might have a chance: I tear his hand apart with some fun Unmask/Therapy action, then dredge my face off with a pretty sick LED/Breakthrough/Troll trick. He promptly rips a Crypt to end my hopes of back-bouncery. 

2-1-0 

Round 4 vs. Bobby Didn't-write-a-last-name's Counterbalance Painter (next-level-flavory) 

Game 1: I do my Ichorid thing, Bobby spends a lot of time spinning his top. He takes two from a threshed PImp, then 18 from a horde of Zombie tokens. 

Game 2: Bobby takes his turn three win. When I'd've milled my whole deck anyway. Makes me totally wish I still had the Mike Edinger tech of a copy of Krosan Reclamation in the board. 

Game 3: Bobby Goyfs me down to 15, then starts to assemble his combo pieces. He drops a Servant, then thinks about it for a second. I know from a previous Therapy that he's holding a Force. Bobby shrugs and asks me if it really matters. I tell him, "Name black! That way my Shriekmaws won't be able to hit your stuff!" Trinket Mage finds a Grindstone, and he plays it. On my turn I DR my Witness for a Chain of Vapor. He activates Grindstone and I bounce Painter in response. He forces away a Dark Confidant, and I remind him it's black. He points at his Painter, and then I remind him again that it's black. He gives me the sad panda face and scoops up his cards. I - no bullshit here - bought him a hotdog to make him feel less bad. Ketchup only. 

3-1-0 

Round 5 vs. Rick Argero (Jander)'s Cascade/Hypergenesis combo 

Game 1: I win the die roll, and keep a hand of LED, LED, Breakthrough, Troll, a Bridge, and a City of Brass (pretty good for six, right?). I go absolutely busted on his face, Therapying him twice on turn on one for his two combo pieces in hand, leaving him with a Progenitus or something. I have an easy turn two win. 

Game 2: After a mull to five (wait for it), I keep (wait for it) Breakthrough, LED, Golgari Grave-Troll, Land, Narcomoeba. G-d's chosen people, right? I get another two Therapies out on Rick, leaving him with a Volcanic fallout (excellent choice for the day) and an ESG. I have a turn 2 Eternal Witness into Breakthrough into more ridiculousness. 

4-1-0 

****If you're reading this to hear about somebody do well, this is where it ends. I go 0-3 for my last three rounds.**** 

Round 6 vs Matt Abold's Elf Survival 

Game 1: I mull to six, Unmask Matt for Natural Order (he has a turn 2 combo hand). He drops a Priest, topdecks a Survival, and goes nutty. 

Game 2: I mull to five, keep a choice 5 (Firestorm, Land, Breakthrough, Dredger x2), wrath Matt's turn one two LLanowar hand, then die to Lord beats. 

4-2-0 

Round 7 vs Anwar Ahmad's Eva Green 

Game 1: Anwar mulls to five and I dredge for shit. Remember that report that he wrote when he top 8'd the Syracuse $2000 event? His hilarious Vishnu-related banter? Turns out that twelve-armed bastard was indeed looking out for Team Brown. 

Game 2: I lead with a busted LED/Breakthrough hand with two (count 'em, two!) GGTs, and hit.... nothing. I hit an Ichorid that, over the course of a couple turns, empties Anwar's hand with a pair of Therapies (turns out hitting two Goyfs blindly is pretty close to the ultimate tits, and getting his Engineered Plague with the first, blind one, was sweet). Except that I continue to worthlessly for some turns so he runs out of fuel. Anwar Sinkholes one of his own lands to fill his yard to drop a Tombstalker that kills me in increments of 5. 

4-3-0 

Round 8 vs. John... something. 

Game 1: While we're shuffling up he tells me he's so greatful that he's not playing against Dredge again. I lol to myself. I do my busted Ichorid thing, and he spends most of his time going through his sideboarding plans. 

Game 2: A turn one Relic is bested by a turn 1 Needle thereon. Which is beaten in turn by a turn 2 Crypt. He beats me with a Rhox War Monk for a while, and I pick up my cards. 

Game 3: For a guy who hates playing against Dredge so much he's doing pretty well: I Therapy for Relic, hit one, and he Crypts me twice in three turns. Rick Argero is sitting on his side of the table (having gone into the scrub brackets after I ruined him for other men), and sees the (to borrow a phrase from Arsalan Iftikhar) redonculous draws John gets, and then shamlessly fucks with him. 

Brief Props: 

-Jim, first and always. Neither of us did much dreaming that day, but he was there for it anyway. 

-Colin for blah blah blah I certainly don't remember the story you told. 

-Jack M. F. Elgin, for recognizing my zero tolerance policy for fucking around. 

-Parcher, for the sweet list. 

-Rick, for driving. 

-Former servicemen and -women, for making delicious (and completely un-nutritious) food during the event. 

-Eli, for his great events. 

Breifer slops: 

-Stupid non-white people G-ds, for not looking after us white folk. 

-Bad dredging. 

That's all I've got - look out for the Grapist, folks.